Kumele Ubaqondise Njani Abantwabakho?
“Ngangingasahlalisekanga sengiphongulalela umdumo wemota yonke edlulayo. Kwasekungokwesithathu uJordan ezifikela endlini ngesikhathi sakhe. Ngangizibuza ukuthi, ‘Ungaphi sibili? Lapho akhona kuhle yini? Mhlawumbe kazihluphi lokuzihlupha ngokuthi sesikhathazeke kangaka.’ Ngesikhathi efika, ngasengizonde ngisifa.”—UGEORGE.
“Umntanami oyinkazana wahlaba umkhosi owangenza ngethuka. Ngathi ngitshibilika ngabona ebambe ikhanda lakhe ekhala. Wayetshaywe ngumnawakhe ongumfana.”—UNICOLE.
UNatalie, indodakazi yethu eleminyaka eyisithupha yawavula amehlo ayo amakhulu yazitshaya umuntu oqinisileyo yathi, “‘Angiyintshontshanga iringi mina. Ngiyidobhile!’ Sezwa ubuhlungu sibili saze sakhala ngoba wayelokhu ephika, lanxa sasibona ukuthi uqamba amanga.”—USTEPHEN.
MHLAWUMBE lawe abantwabakho bayake bakwenze uzizwe njengabazali laba. Nxa kunjalo, engxenye uyake uzibuze ukuthi kumele umthini umntanakho kumbe ukuthi kumele umqondise njani. Kubi yini ukuthi uqondise abantwabakho?
KUTSHONI UKUQONDISA?
EBhayibhilini ibala elithi ‘izeluleko kumbe ukuqondisa’ alitsho ukujezisa nje. Ukuqondisa kutsho ukulaya, ukufundisa lokukhuza. Akutsho ukuhlukuluza kumbe ukuba lomoya omubi.—IZaga 4:1, 2.
Ukuqondisa umntwana kungafananiswa lomuntu ohlanyela isihlahla. Uqala agebhe lapho azasihlanyela khona. Nxa esesihlanyelile uyasithelela, asifake umquba njalo uyakhipha ukhula afake leminye imithi ukuze singadliwa yizibungu. Isihlahla sesikhula, umuntu lo kungadingeka ukuthi asithene ukuze. Uyakwazi ukuthi kumele enze izinto ezitshiyeneyo ezizanceda ukuthi isihlahla sikhule kuhle. Yikho-ke labazali kumele basebenzise izindlela ezinengi ukuze bakhulise kuhle abantwababo. Kodwa kwezinye izikhathi kumele babaqondise. Lokhu kungafananiswa lokuthena isihlahla ngoba kungenza umntwana atshiye imikhutshana engalunganga esasemncane futhi akhule esendleleni eyiyo. Kodwa nxa isihlahla ungasasithenanga ngonanzelelo siyafa. Yikho-ke abazali kumele babelothando nxa beqondisa abantwababo.
Abazali kumele benze njengoJehova uNkulunkulu nxa beqondisa abantwababo. Uziqondisa kuhle kakhulu izikhonzi zakhe ezisemhlabeni ezimlalelayo okokuthi zicina ‘zithanda ukuqondiswa’ ngoba kuyazinceda. (IZaga 12:1) Izikhonzi zakhe ‘zibambelela iziqondiso’ njalo ‘kaziyekethisi.’ (IZaga 4:13) Nxa ufuna abantwabakho balalele iziqondiso zakho ungalingisela izinto ezilandelayo ezintathu ezenziwa nguNkulunkulu nxa eqondisa: (1) uthando (2) ukuzwisisa (3) ukungantshintshantshintshi.
UTHANDO
Okwenza uNkulunkulu asiqondise luthando. IBhayibhili lithi: “UJehova ulaya labo abathandayo, njengoyise elaya indodana yakhe ayithandayo.” (IZaga 3:12) Kanti njalo uJehova ‘ulesihawu lomusa, uyaphuza ukuthukuthela.’ (U-Eksodusi 34:6) Yikho-ke kasihlukuluzi njalo kalamoya omubi. Kakhulumi amazwi abuhlungu, kahlali echothoza, njalo kasebenzisi amazwi abhuqayo ngoba konke lokhu ‘kugwaza njengenkemba.’—IZaga 12:18.
Kodwa-ke akulula ukuthi abazali abalesono balingisele ukuzithiba kukaNkulunkulu ngokupheleleyo. Kwezinye izikhathi ungehluleka sibili ukuzibamba kodwa hlala ukhumbula ukuthi ukuqondisa umntwana uzondile kuyamlimaza, kwenza iphutha lakhe likhanye lilikhulu kakhulu njalo akuncedi. Esingakutsho yikuthi ukuqondisa umntwana uzondile kumbe ucaphukile ayisikho kumqondisa. Yikwehluleka ukuzibamba.
Kodwa ukuba lothando kanye lokuzibamba nxa uqondisa umntwana kunganceda kakhulu. Khangela ukuthi uGeorge loNicole, abazali esikhulume ngabo phezulu bakwenza njani lokhu.
“UJordan esefikile, mina lomkami sasifuthelene kodwa senelisa ukuzibamba salalela ukuthi wayesithini. Sacina sithe sizaxoxa ngendaba le ekuseni ngoba kwasekusebusuku kakhulu. Sakhuleka sisonke, sasesisiyalala. Ngelanga elilandelayo sesehlise umoya, saxoxa kuhlekuhle ngokwakwenzakele, sasesizwisisana lendodana yethu. Yavuma ukuthi yayiphambanisile kanye lokuthi yayingasoze iphinde. Kwasinceda ukunanzelela ukuthi ukugijimela ukuxakulula udaba usazondile akuncedi lutho. Kanengi, okwakusinceda kakhulu kwakuyikuqala silalele.”—UGeorge.
“Ngazonda ngafa ngibona ukuthi indodana yami yayilimaze udadewabo kabuhlungu. Kodwa angizange ngimenze lutho, ngathi kahambe endlini yakhe yokulala ngoba ngendlela engangizonde ngayo ngangizamenza okunye. Ngemva kwesikhatshana, sengingasazondanga, ngamchasisela ukuthi ukutshaya abanye akulunganga ngasengimtshengisa lokuthi wayemlimaze njani udadewabo. Lokhu kwamnceda kakhulu. Waxolisa udadewabo wasemgona.”—UNicole.
Siyabona-ke ukuthi nxa siqondisa abantwana, ukuba lothando kuqakathekile lanxa sibaqondisa ngokubajezisa.
UKUZWISISA
UJehova uqondisa “ngokufaneleyo” sonke isikhathi. (UJeremiya 30:11; 46:28) Uyakhangela ukuthi vele bekutheni umuntu aze aphambanise aphinde akhangele lokungabonakaliyo ebantwini. Abazali bangamlingisela njani? UStephen esikhulume ngaye phezulu uthi: “Lanxa sezwa ubuhlungu futhi sangazwisisi ukuthi kungani uNatalie eqhubeka ephika kangaka yena eyintshontshile iringi, sazama ukucabanga ukuthi mncane lokuthi useselobuntwana.”
URobert, umkaNicole, laye uyazama ukukhangela ukuthi vele bekutheni. Nxa abantwana bangaphambanisa, ujayele ukuzibuza imibuzo le: ‘Uhlala ekwenza yini lokhu kumbe ukwenze lamuhla kuphela? Udiniwe yini kumbe kezwa kuhle? Engabe esenza lokhu ngenxa yokuthile okumhluphayo yini?’
Abazali abazwisisayo bayakwazi ukuthi abantwana abangeke baziphathe njengabantu abadala. Umphostoli ongumKhristu, uPhawuli wakuvuma lokhu lapho ebhala esithi: “Ngisesengumntwana, ngakhuluma njengomntwana, ngacabanga njengomntwana, nganakana njengomntwana.” (1 KwabaseKhorinte 13:11) URobert uthi: “Okunye okunginceda ukuthi ngihlale ngibona kuhle izinto lokuthi ngingazondi ngedlulise yikukhumbula lokho lami engangikwenza ngisesemncane.”
Kuqakathekile ukuzwisisa ukuthi abantwana bazaphambanisa lapha lalaphaya kodwa lokhu akutsho ukuthi sekumele ubayekele besenza izinto ezingayisizo. Okuzakunceda ukuthi uzwisise nxa ubaqondisa yikucabanga ngalokho abenelisa ukukwenza, ukuthi banganani kanye lokuthi kuyabe kuhambe njani nxa bephambanisile.
UKUNGANTSHINTSHANTSHINTSHI
UMalaki 3:6 uthi: “Mina uJehova kangiguquki.” Lokhu yikho okwenza izinceku zakhe zimthembe njalo kuzenza zihlale zivikelekile. Abantwana bahlala bevikelekile nxa abazali bengantshintshantshintshi. Nxa kuyikuthi uyantshintsha umthetho owawuwubekile ngenxa yokuthi uthabile kumbe uzondile, umntanakho angacina engasahlaliseki kumbe engasakwazi okumele akwenze.
Khumbula ukuthi uJesu wathi: “Akuthi u ‘Yebo’ wenu abe ngu ‘Yebo’ lo ‘Hatshi’ abe ngu ‘Hatshi.’” Abazali kumele bawasebenzise amazwi la. (UMathewu 5:37) Qala ucabangisise ungakabeki umthetho ozakunzimela ukuthi unamathele kuwo. Nxa ungatshela umntanakho ukuthi angaphambanisa uzamqondisa ngendlela ethile, kumele wenze khonokho kanye owakukhulumayo.
Okuqakathekileyo okunganceda ukuthi abazali bangantshintshantshintshi nxa beqondisa abantwana yikuthi bona bakhulumisane kuhle. URobert uthi: “Nxa abantwabethu bangangincenga ngize ngivume ukuthi benze okuthile akade bekwaliswe ngunina ngingakwazi, ngiyantshintsha ukuze ngivumelane lomkami.” Nxa abazali bengavumelani ngokuthile osekuvukile, kungcono ukuthi bayexoxa abantwana bengekho besebevumelana ukuthi benzeni.
UKUQONDISA ABANTWANA KUQAKATHEKILE
Abantwabakho bazancedakala kakhulu nxa ubaqondisa ulingisela uJehova ngokuba lothando, ukuzwisisa kanye lokuhlala ungantshintshantshintshi. Ukuba lothando nxa ubaqondisa kungabanceda ukuthi bakhule engqondweni, bangadingi ukulandelelwa sonke isikhathi njalo bazalandela isibonelo sakho sebengabantu abadala. IBhayibhili lithi: “Fundisa umntwana indlela amele ahambe ngayo, kuzakuthi esemdala kayikuphambuka kuyo.”—IZaga 22:6.
