Indlela Ongarhelebha Ngayo Umngani Ogulako

WAKHE wazizwa ungazi bona kufuze uthini newukhuluma nomnganakho ogula khulu? Qiniseka bona ungawurarulula umraro lo. Njani? Akunamithetho eqinileko. Ukuhluka kwamasiko nakho kungabandakanyeka. Ubuntu babantu nabo bungahluka khulu. Ngalokho, into engenza omunye umuntu ogulako azizwe abhedere ingangarhelebhi komunye. Ubujamo namazizo kungahluka kwelinye ilanga kunangelanga elilandelako.

Into eqakathekileko kuwe kulinga ukuzibeka ebujamweni bomuntu ogulako ufumane bona khuyini ayifunako nayitlhogako kuwe. Ungakwenza njani lokhu? Nakhu ukulinganisa okumbalwa okusekelwe eenkambiswenilawulo zeBhayibhili.

Lalelisisa

IINKAMBISOLAWULO ZEBHAYIBHILI:

“Loyo naloyo kufanele alalele msinyana nakukhulunywako, kodwana angaphenduli msinyana.”—KAJAKOBOSI 1:19.

“Kunesikhathi . . . sokuthula nesikhathi sokukhuluma.”—UMTJHUMAYELI 3:1, 7.

▪ Newuvakatjhela umngani ogulako, lalelisisa ube nesirhawu. Ungarhabeli ukumnikela isiluleko namtjhana uzizwe ngasuthi ngaso soke isikhathi kufuze ube nesirarululo. Newurhabela ukuveza amazizwakho, ungatjho into ezomzwisa ubuhlungu ungakanqophi. Umnganakho ogulako akakalindeli bona ube nesirarululo kodwana ufuna umuntu ozomlalela ngehliziyo nomkhumbulo woke.

Vumela umnganakho bona akhulume ngokutjhaphulukileko. Ungamqintelisi nekakhulumako, namtjhana umenze azizwe ngasuthi uwuthatha bulula umrarwakhe. U-Emílio * uthi: “Ngaba ne-fungal meningitis eyagcina ngokungiphophaza. Ngesinye isikhathi bengizwa umoyami  uphasi, begodu abangani bebalinga ukungiduduza ngokuthi: ‘Akusuwe wedwa onemiraro. Kunabantu abanemiraro edlula yakho.’ Nokho, bebangatjheji bona ukuwenza bulula umrarwami bekungangirhelebhi. Ngokuphambene nalokho, bekungiphatha kumbi, kungenze ngigandeleleke.”

Vumela umnganakho aveze amazizwakhe ngaphandle kokusaba bona uzomsola. Nekakutjela bona uyasaba, mukela indlela azizwa ngayo kunobana umtjele bona angasabi. U-Eliana olwa nekankere uthi: “Nengitshwenyeke ngokugula kwami begodu ngikhihla isililo, lokho akutjho bona angisamthembi uZimu.” Yenza umzamo wokuqala umnganakho ngendlela angayo, ingasi ngendlela ofuna abe ngayo. Khumbula bona angezwa ubuhlungu lula ngalokho okutjhoko nokuthi akasesengendlela agade angiyo ngaphambilini. Yiba nesineke. Lalela—ngitjho namtjhana angasolo aphindaphinda intweyodwa. (1 AmaKhosi 19:9, 10, 13, 14) Angazizwa afuna ukukucocela indlela azizwa ngayo.

Yiba nesirhawu ucabangele

IINKAMBISOLAWULO ZEBHAYIBHILI:

“Thabani kanye nalabo abathabileko, nilile kanye nalabo abalilako.”—KWEBEROMA 12:15.

“Yenzelani abanye lokho enifuna bona nani banenzele.”—MATEWU 7:12.

▪ Zibeke ebujamweni bomnganakho. Nengabe ulungiselela ukuyokuhlinzwa, uyalatjhwa, namtjhana ulindele iimphumela yeenhlahlubo, angagandeleleka athinteke lula. Linga ukukutlhogomela lokhu begodu wamukele indlela amazizwakhe atjhentjha ngayo. Lesi akusiso isikhathi sokubuza iimbuzo eminengi, khulukhulu iimbuzo emalungana neendaba zomuntu mathupha.

U-Ana Katalifós, udorhodere wengqondo uthi: “Vumela isigulani sikhulume ngokugula kwaso nesifunako nangendlela esikghona ngayo. Nebafuna ukukhuluma, khuluma nabo ngananyana ngiyiphi indaba abakhetha ukukhuluma ngayo. Kodwana nebangafuniko ukukhuluma, ungamane uhlale uthule, nokubabamba ngesandla kungatjho lukhulu. Namtjhana ungafumana bona into abayitlhogako mumuntu abangalila naye kwaphela.”

Hlonipha iimfihlo zomnganakho. Umtloli u-Rosanne Kalick, okhe waphathwa yikankere kabili, watlola: “Ngendlela abonakala begodu akhuluma ngayo, thatha ngokobana into akutjele yona yifihlo. Ngaphandle kobana bakubawe bona ukhulumele umndeni, ungayidlulisi indaba. Buza isiguli bona yini esingathanda bona kukhulunywe ngayo.” U-Edson ogade aphethwe yikankere, uthi: “Umnganami warhatjha indaba yokobana nginekankere nokobana angizokuphila isikhathi eside. Bengazi bona nginekankere, bengisandukuhlinzwa. Kodwana bengisalinde iimphumela yeenhlahlubo. Ikankere beyingakaphadlhalali. Kodwana iindaba besele zirhatjhekile. Umkami besele athuswe begodu adaniswe ziinkulumo neembuzo enganangqondo evela kwabanye.”

Nengabe umnganakho ulinga ukukhetha bona ngikuphi ukulatjhwa azokukhetha, ungarhabeli ukutjho bona ngathana bekunguwe bewuzokukhethani. UMtloli u-Lori Hope, owakhe waphathwa yikankere, uthi: “Ngaphambi kobana uthumele umuntu okhe waba nekankere nofana onekankere iinhloko ezithileko nofana iindaba zananyana ngiliphi ihlobo, kubhedere ukubuza bona angathanda ukufumana iindaba ezinjalo na. Newungenzi njalo, ungamlimaza ungakanqophi umnganakho begodu kungenzeka bona ungazi bonyana uyamlimaza.” Abanye abantu abathandi ukupharwa ngokwazisa okunengi malungana neendlela ezihlukahlukeneko zokulapha.

Ngitjho nanyana niyirhara nomncamo, ungahlali isikhathi eside khulu newuvakatjhileko. Ukumvakatjhela kwakho kuqakatheke khulu, kodwana kungenzeka umnganakho akasisemoyeni wokuba nawe. Mhlamunye udiniwe begodu akanamandla wokukhuluma nofana ukulalela isikhathi eside. Ngakelinye ihlangothi, ungenzi kubonakale ngasuthi urhabile. Umnganakho kufuze abone bona unendaba naye.

Ukucabangela kubandakanya ukulinganisela nokwahlulela okuhle. Isibonelo, ngaphambi kobana umphekele ukudla namtjhana umlethele iinthelo, mbuze bona akunazinto ezimphatha  kumbi na. Nengabe uyagula, mhlamunye uphethwe mgomani, uzabe utjengisa ithando newungalinda ube uphole ngaphambi kobana uvakatjhele umnganakho.

Khuthaza

IINKAMBISOLAWULO ZEBHAYIBHILI:

“Ilimi labahlakaniphileko liyapholisa.”—IZIYEMA 12:18.

“Umkhulumo wenu awube muhle njalo, ukhuthaze.”—KWEBEKHOLOSE 4:6.

▪ Newuhlala unombono ofaneleko ngomnganakho ogulako, pheze amezwi nezenzo zakho kuzokutjengisa lokho. Cabanga ngomnganakho njengosesenobuntu obufanako nalobo obakwenza wamthanda kwasekuthomeni. Ungavumeli ukugula kutjhentjhe indlela ophatha ngayo umnganakho. Newukhuluma nomnganakho ungakhulumi naye ngasuthi ungungazimbi ongakghoniko ukuzirhelebha, naye angathoma ukuziqala njalo. U-Roberta, onobulwelwe bamathambo obungakajayeleki uthi: “Ngiphatha njengomuntu ophilileko. Ngirholophele, kodwana ngineembono neemfiso zami. Ungangiqali ngasuthi uyangitlhuwela. Ungakhulumi nami ngasuthi ngisithingithingi.”

Khumbula bona akusingilokho okutjhoko kwaphela okuqakathekileko, kodwana nendlela okutjho ngayo. Ngitjho nelizwi lakho lingaba nomthelela. Msinyana ngemva kobana kufumaneke bona unekankere, u-Ernesto, wathola umtato ovela emnganinakhe ohlala kenye inarha owathi: “Angikholwa bona wena unekankere!” U-Ernesto uyakhumbula: “Indlela awatjho ngayo amezwi athi ‘wena’ nelithi ‘kankere’ yangenza ngangenwa mamanzi emadolweni.”

Umtloli u-Lori Hope unikela esinye isibonelo: “Ukubuza bona ‘unjani?’ kungatjho izinto ezinengi ezihlukahlukeneko esigulini. Kuye ngokobana linjani ilizwi lomuntu obuzako, ukusikinyeka komzimba, ubuhlobo hlangana nomuntu obuzako nesigulani nesikhathi umbuzo obuzwe ngaso, kungamduduza ogulako, kumbangele ubuhlungu nofana kumenze abe nevalo.”

Umngani ogulako pheze ufuna ukuzizwa atlhogonyelwa, azwisiswa, begodu ahlonitjhwa. Nje-ke, mqinisekise bona uqakatheke khulu kuwe begodu uzokuhlala ukulungele ukumrhelebha. U-Rosemary, oneliqa ebucotjheni, wathi: “Okwangikhuthaza khulu kukuzwa abangani bami bathi bayangithanda begodu ngingathembela kibo nofana kungenzekani.”—Iziyema 15:23; 25:11.

Yiba lirhelebho

IKAMBISOLAWULO YEBHAYIBHILI:

“Ithando lenu alingabi mamezwi nomkhulumo kwaphela nje, akube lithando lamambala elibonakala ngezenzo.”—1 KAJWANISI 3:18.

▪ Iintlhogo zomnganakho zizokutjhentjha njengombana asuka ekufumaneni bona uphethwe yini kuya ekulatjhweni. Kodwana phakathi kwaso soke isikhathesi, angatlhoga irhelebho. Kunokumane uthi—“nekukhona okutlhogako, ungibize”—linga ukutjho ngokunqophileko bona ungamrhelebha ngani. Ungatjho bona uzomrhelebha ngezinto zangamalanga njengokupheka, ukuhlwengisa, ukuvasa, ukutiriga, ukuba sithunywa, ukumyela esitolo nokumtjhayelela nekaya etlinigi namtjhana esibhedlela ukuyokulatjhwa, lezi ziindlela ezimbalwa zokutjengisa bona uyamtlhogomela. Yiba mumuntu othembekileko nofika ngesikhathi. Yenza koke othembise bona uzokwenza.—Matewu 5:37.

Umtloli uRosanne Kalick, uthi: “Nanyana yini esiyenzako, ingaba yikulu namtjhana yincani, ephungula ubuhlungu bomuntu ogulako ingaba lirhelebho.” U-Sílvia, okhe waphathwa yikankere kabili uvumelana nalokho, uthi: “Ukuba nabangani abahlukahlukeneko abangisa kelinye idorobho nengiya emtjhinini wokutjhisa amaseli wekankere [radiation] bekungiqabula begodu kungiduduza! Endleleni, besikhambe sicoca ngezinto ezinengi, begodu ngemva kokulatjhwa, besihlale sijama evikilini elithengisa ikofi. Lokhu bekungenza ngizizwe ngingimi godu.”

Kodwana ungacabangi bona ukwazi ngokunqophileko okutlhogwa mnganakho. U-Kalick wathi: “Buza.” Wangezelela, “Ekuzimiseleni kwakho ukurhelebha, ungacabangi bona kufuze ulawule yoke into. Lokho angeze kurhelebhe begodu  kungenza ogulako azizwe ahlangahlangene. Newungangivumeliko bona ngenze okhunye, kuba ngasuthi uthi akunanto engingakghona ukuyenza. Ngifuna ukuzizwa nginekghono. Angifuni ukuzizwa ngingungazimbi. Ngirhelebha kilokho engikghona ukukwenza.”

Umnganakho ufuna ukuzizwa kukhona angakwenza. U-Adilson, onentumbantonga, wathi: “Newugulako awufuni ukubekelwa eqadi ngasuthi awusimumuntu namtjhana angeze wakghona ukwenza litho. Ufuna ukurhelebha ngitjho nanyana ungenza umberegwana omncani. Kumnandi ukuzizwa bona usakghona ukwenza okuthileko! Kuyakukhuthaza bona uragele phambili nepilo. Ngiyabathanda abantu abangivumela bona ngenze iinquntu—begodu bazihloniphe. Ukugula akutjho bona angekhe usakwazi ukuzalisa izinto okufuze uzenze njengobaba, umma namtjhana omunye umuntu.”

Hlala useduze nomnganakho ogulako

IKAMBISOLAWULO YEBHAYIBHILI:

“Umngani wamambala utjengisa ithando ngaso soke isikhathi, begodu umnakwabo lomuntu obelethwe ngesikhathi samatlhuwo.”—IZIYEMA 17:17.

▪ Nengabe awukghoni ukuvakatjhela umnganakho ngombana uhlala kude namtjhana kunokhunye okukukhandelako, ungamdosela umtato bona nikhulume, ungamtlolela incwadi namtjhana umthumele i-e-mail. Ungatlola ngani? U-Alan D. Wolfelt, umluleki wabanamatlhuwo walinganisa: “Mkhumbuze ngeenkhathi ezimnandi enakhe nazithabela ndawonye. Mthembise bona uzomtlolela msinyana godu—wenze njengombana uthembisile.”

Ungalisi ukumkhuthaza, usabe bona uzokutjho izinto ezizomzwisa ubuhlungu namtjhana usabe ukwenza imitjhapho. Esikhathini esinengi, ukuba khona kwakho kutjho okukhulu. Encwadinakhe, u-Lori Hope watlola: “Soke sitjho begodu senze izinto abantu engeze bazizwisisa namtjhana ezibazwisa ubuhlungu. Lokho akusimraro. Umraro uba khona lokha newungamhloliko umnganakho okutlhogako ngombana usaba ukwenza imitjhapho.”

Umngani ogula khulu kungenzeka bona ukutlhoga khulu kunangaphambili. Ziveze “umngani wamambala.” Iimzamakho yokurhelebha umnganakho ngeze yenze ubuhlungu buphele, kodwana ungenza ubujamo obubudisi bukghodlheleleke emntwini omthandako.

[Umtlolo waphasi]