Kodi Kudyera Pamodzi Kungathandize Bwanji Banja Lanu?

“Anthufe timakumana ndi zinthu zosiyanasiyana, zina zosangalatsa zina zokhumudwitsa. Koma kaya tasangalala kapena takhumudwa, timafunika kudya. Ndipo tonse tingamve bwino ngati titadya chakudya chokoma.”—Anatero Laurie Colwin.

KALE mabanja ambiri a ku Ulaya ankaona kuti kudyera pamodzi n’kofunika kwambiri. Banja lililonse linkayesetsa kuti lizidyera pamodzi, kamodzi kapena kangapo pa tsiku. Ndipo sipankakhala zosokoneza monga kuonera TV, kumvetsera wailesi ya m’makutu, kapena kutumiza mauthenga pafoni. Zimenezi zinkathandiza kuti anthu pabanja azigawana nzeru, kulimbikitsana, ndiponso kukambirana zinthu zosangalatsa zimene zachitika pa tsikulo kwinaku akudya chakudya chokoma.

Anthu ambiri masiku ano sakonda kudyera pamodzi chifukwa amaona kuti kuchita zimenezi n’kwachikale. Kodi n’chiyani chimalepheretsa mabanja kudyera pamodzi masiku ano? Kodi pali ubwino uliwonse ngati mabanja atayambiranso kudyera pamodzi? Kodi aliyense pabanja angapindule bwanji ngati banja lawo litamadyera pamodzi?

Zimene Zachititsa Kuti Mabanja Asamadyere Pamodzi

Munthu wina, dzina lake Robert Putnam, analemba m’buku lake kuti: “Panthawi yochepa chabe mabanja ambiri asiya kudyera pamodzi chakudya [chamadzulo] ndipo zimenezi ndi umboni wamphamvu wakuti anthu sakugwirizananso ngati mmene ankachitira kale.” (Bowling Alone) Kodi n’chiyani chachititsa kuti mabanja asiye kudyera pamodzi? Choyamba, kukwera mtengo kwa zinthu kwachititsa kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi azigwira ntchito nthawi yaitali. Popeza kuti makolo amene amalera okha ana amakhala ndi mavuto aakulu azachuma, nthawi zambiri sakhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yokhala pakhomo. Chachiwiri, anthu masiku ano amatanganidwa moti safuna kutenga nthawi yaitali akudya ndipo ena amakonda kungogula chakudya chophikaphika. Ana nawonso amatanganidwa ndi zinthu zambiri monga kuchita masewera ndiponso zinthu zina akaweruka kusukulu.

Komanso, abambo ambiri amafika pakhomo mochedwa kuti apeze ana atagona poopa kuti anawo aziwavutitsa akamadya. Ndipo makolo ena amene amafika pakhomo nthawi yabwino, amayamba kupatsa kaye ana chakudya n’kuwauza kuti akagone n’cholinga chakuti anawo asawasokoneze akamadya.

Zimenezi zimachititsa kuti anthu pabanja azidya paokhapaokha. M’malo moti anthu azidya pamodzi n’kumalankhulana, amangolemberana timakalata n’kusiya pafiriji. Aliyense akafika pakhomo amafikira pafiriji, kutulutsa chakudya n’kuchitenthetsa, kenako n’kumadya akuonera TV kapena akugwiritsa ntchito kompyuta. Ambiri amaona kuti khalidwe limeneli ndi lovuta kulisiya. Komabe dziwani kuti banja lanu lingapindule kwambiri ngati mutayesetsa kumadyera pamodzi.

Ubwino Wodyera Pamodzi

Kudyera pamodzi kumapatsa makolo mpata wodziwa mavuto amene ana awo akukumana nawo. Miriam Weinstein analemba m’buku lake kuti kudyera pamodzi “kumathandiza kwambiri kuti ana azicheza ndi makolo awo momasuka. N’zoona kuti kudyera pamodzi sikungathetse  mavuto onse amene mabanja amakumana nawo, koma ndi kothandiza kuthetsa mavuto ena mosavuta.”—The Surprising Power of Family Meals

Bambo wina wachinyamata wa ku Spain, dzina lake Eduardo, ananena zofanana ndi zimenezi. Iye anati: “Kale ndikukhala ndi makolo anga, tinkadyera pamodzi anthu 11. Bambo ankayesetsa kubwera kunyumba masana kuchokera kuntchito n’cholinga choti tidzadyere pamodzi. Tonse tinkasangalala kwambiri. Tinkadziwa zimene aliyense pabanja pathu akukumana nazo. Nthawi zambiri tinkanena nthabwala n’kumaseka. Zinthu zosangalatsa komanso zosaiwalika zimenezi zachititsa kuti nditengere chitsanzo cha bambo anga.”

Kudyera pamodzi kumathandizanso kuti ana akhale ndi moyo wabwino. Bungwe lina la ku America (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse) linapeza kuti ana amene amadyera pamodzi ndi makolo awo kasanu mlungu uliwonse nthawi zambiri sakhala ndi vuto la nkhawa, kunyong’onyeka, ndipo amakhala ndi chidwi chophunzira zinthu ndiponso amakhoza bwino m’kalasi.

Eduardo ananenanso kuti: “Ndimaona kuti kudyera pamodzi kumathandiza kuti ana asamakhale ndi nkhawa. Ana anga aakazi savutika kupeza nthawi yotiuza zinthu chifukwa tsiku lililonse timadyera pamodzi. Nthawi imeneyi imandithandizanso kudziwa mavuto amene ana angawo akukumana nawo.”

Komanso mabanja akamadyera pamodzi zimathandiza kuti ana apewe zizolowezi zolakwika pakudya. Lipoti lochokera ku yunivesite ya Navarre ku Spain linanena kuti anthu amene amadya okha nthawi zambiri amadwala matenda ovutika kudya. N’zoona kuti matendawa akhoza kuyamba ndi zinthu zosiyanasiyana, koma kulephera kudyera pamodzi chakudya kumawonjezera mipata yakuti munthu adwale matendawa. Mayi wina wa ana aakazi awiri, dzina lake Esmeralda, anati: “Ngati nthawi zambiri banja limadyera pamodzi, ana amaona kuti amakondedwa. Nthawi ya chakudya imawathandiza kuona kuti banja lawo ndi logwirizana.”

Kudyera pamodzi chakudya kumapatsanso makolo mpata wophunzitsa ana awo zinthu zauzimu. Zaka 3,500 zapitazo, Mulungu analimbikitsa Aisiraeli kuti azikhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi ana awo n’cholinga choti aziwaphunzitsa zinthu zauzimu. (Deuteronomo 6:6, 7) Bambo wina wa ana awiri, dzina lake Ángel, anati: “Banja likamapemphera komanso kukambirana lemba la m’Baibulo panthawi ya chakudya, zimakhala zolimbikitsa mwauzimu. Popeza kuti kudyera pamodzi n’kothandiza kwambiri, kodi mabanja ena achita zotani kuti nthawi zambiri azidyera pamodzi?

Zimene Mabanja Ena Achita

Esmeralda anati: “Kuti mukwanitse kudyera pamodzi, payenera kukhala dongosolo labwino komanso aliyense ayenera kukhala wofunitsitsa. Nthawi ya chakudya iyenera kukhala yoti aliyense azipezekapo, kuphatikizapo amene amafika mochedwa.” Mayi wina wa ana awiri, dzina lake Maribel, anati: “Tsiku lililonse timayesetsa kudyera pamodzi chakudya chamadzulo.” Mabanja ena amagwiritsa ntchito mpata umene amakhala nawo Loweruka kapena Lamlungu kuphikiratu chakudya cha madzulo choti azidya m’kati mwa mlungu.

Ndi bwino kudziwa kuti kudyera pamodzi chakudya n’kofunika kwambiri. Eduardo anati: “Ndinasintha zina ndi zina pantchito yanga ndi cholinga choti ndizidya chakudya chamadzulo pamodzi ndi banja langa, ndipo kuchita zimenezi kunandithandiza kwambiri. Panopa ndimadziwa zambiri zimene zikuchitika pabanja pathu. Popeza kuti tsiku lililonse ndimathera maola ambiri ndikugwira ntchito mwakhama, ndikuona kuti sizingakhale bwino kuti ndizilephera kukhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yocheza ndi banja langa panthawi yakudya.”

Ndi bwinonso kupewa zinthu zimene zingasokoneze kucheza. Mnyamata wina wa zaka 16 dzina lake David anati: “Pabanja pathu tikamadya timaonesetsa kuti tisamaonerere TV. Timagwiritsa ntchito nthawi imeneyi kuuza makolo athu zimene zatichitikira tsikulo ndipo nthawi zambiri iwo amatipatsa malangizo.” David ananenanso kuti: “Masiku ano achinyamata ambiri sakonda kulankhulana ndi makolo awo. Ngakhale banja lonse litakhalapo, aliyense amadya yekha uku akuonera TV. Achinyamata amenewa sadziwa zimene akumanidwa.” Mtsikana wina wa zaka 17, dzina lake Sandra, anati: “Ndimamva chisoni anzanga akamanena kuti, ‘Kaya amayi anga andisungira  chakudya chotani m’firiji?’ Ine ndimaona kuti kudyera pamodzi n’kofunika kwambiri. Kumatipatsa mpata wocheza, wokambirana nkhani zofunika, komanso wosonyeza kuti timakondana.”

Buku lina linanena kuti kudyera pamodzi kumathandiza kuti banja lizitha “kulimbana ndi mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku.” (Surprising Power of Family Meals) Kodi kudyera pamodzi kungathandize kuti banja lanu lizikondana? Inde. Ngati mumatanganidwa, kudyera pamodzi kumapereka mpata woti mupumeko n’kumacheza ndi banja lanu. Choncho, kupatula nthawi yodyera pamodzi n’kothandiza kwambiri.

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 15]

MUKAMADYERA PAMODZI NDI BANJA LANU, MUMAPHUNZIRA . . .

Kucheza ndi anthu. Ana angaphunzire kulankhula ndi anthu komanso kumvetsera mwaulemu. Kucheza kumathandiza ana kuti adziwe bwino chinenero komanso kutha kufotokoza maganizo awo.

Kudya chakudya choyenera panthawi yoyenera.

Kusonyeza makhalidwe abwino. Ana angaphunzire kukhala opatsa, m’malo momangofuna kuti zabwino zonse adye okha. Komanso angaphunzire kuthandiza ena m’banjamo pamene mukudya.

Kugwira ntchito mogwirizana. Ana angaphunzire kuthandiza makolo awo ntchito monga kuika komanso kuchotsa zinthu patebulo, ndiponso kutumikira ena. Akamakula amaphunziranso kuphika chakudya.