KODI mukuganiza kuti vuto linali chiyani muukwati wa Michael ndi Maria? Mwina mungaganize kuti vuto lalikulu la Michael linali kuonera zolaula. Koma malinga ndi zimene Michael anaona, kuonera zolaula chinali chizindikiro cha vuto lina lalikulu: Kulephera kukhala wokhulupirika muukwati. * Michael ndi Maria atangokwatirana, ankayembekezera kuti azidzakondana ndi kusangalala limodzi. Mofanana ndi mabanja ambiri, kukhulupirika muukwati wawo kunayamba kuchepa ndipo zinayamba kuoneka kuti sakukondananso.

Kodi pazaka zimene mwakhala muukwati, mukuona kuti chikondi pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo chayamba kuchepa? Kodi mukufuna kuti chikondi chanu chibwerere mwakale? Ngati ndi choncho, mufunika kudziwa mayankho a mafunso atatu awa: Kodi kukhala wokhulupirika muukwati kumatanthauza chiyani? Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zomwe zingakuchititseni kulephera kukhalabe okhulupirika? Kodi mungachite chiyani kuti mukhale okhulupirika kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu?

Kodi kukhulupirika muukwati kumatanthauza chiyani kwa inu? Ambiri anganene kuti munthu wokhulupirika ndi amene amazindikira  udindo wake. Mwachitsanzo, anthu angakhalebe okhulupirika muukwati wawo chifukwa cha ana amene ali nawo kapena chifukwa choopa Mulungu, yemwe anayambitsa ukwati. (Genesis 2:22-24) Zifukwa zimenezi ndi zomveka, ndipo zingathandize ukwati kuti usathe panthawi yamavuto. Koma kuti anthu okwatirana akhale osangalaladi, amafunika zambiri osati kungoona kuti ali ndi udindo wochitira mkazi kapena mwamuna wawo zinthu.

Yehova Mulungu anafuna kuti anthu okwatirana azisangalala ndiponso azikhutira ndi ukwati wawo. Iye anafuna kuti mwamuna ‘azikondwera ndi mkazi wake,’ ndipo mkazi azikonda mwamuna wake komanso azitha kuona kuti mwamuna wakeyo amam’konda ngati mmene amakondera thupi lake. (Miyambo 5:18; Aefeso 5:28) Kuti pakhale chikondi chotero, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kumakhulupirirana. Chofunikanso ndi chakuti, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kukhala mabwenzi enieni kwa moyo wawo wonse. Iwo akamakhulupirirana ndi kuyesetsa kukhala mabwenzi a ponda apa inenso m’pondepo, amakhulupirikanso kwambiri muukwati wawo. Zikatero, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amakondana kwambiri n’kukhala “thupi limodzi” ngati mmene Baibulo limanenera.​—Mateyo 19:5.

Choncho tingati kukhulupirika kuli ngati matope amene amagwirizanitsa njerwa kuti nyumba ikhale yolimba. Matope amapangidwa posakaniza zinthu monga mchenga, simenti ndi madzi. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, kukhulupirika kumafuna zinthu monga kuzindikira udindo wako, kukhulupirirana, ndiponso kukhala mabwenzi enieni. Kodi n’chiyani chingalepheretse kukhulupirika?

Kukhulupirika kumafuna khama ndiponso mtima wodzipereka. Kumafuna kusiya zokonda zanu kuti musangalatse mnzanu. Komabe, mfundo yololera zofuna za wina, yopatsa mnzanu zimene akufuna popanda kuganiza kuti, ‘Ndipezapo phindu lanji?’ anthu ambiri saikonda ndipo anthu enanso amaipidwa nayo. Koma dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi ndi anthu angati odzikonda amene ndikuwadziwa omwe ali ndi ukwati wosangalala?’ N’kutheka kuti yankho ndi lakuti, Ndi ochepa kapenanso palibe. Chifukwa chiyani? Nthawi zambiri munthu wodzikonda sakhala wokhulupirika muukwati akaona kuti akufunika kudzimana zinthu zina, makamaka ngati phindu limene angapezepo sakuliona. Popanda kukhulupirika, banja limasokonekera, ngakhale kuti anthuwo poyamba atangodziwana, ankakondana kwambiri.

Baibulo limanena mosapita m’mbali kuti ukwati umafuna khama. Limafotokoza kuti “mwamuna wokwatira amadera nkhawa zinthu za dziko, mmene angakondweretsere mkazi wake.” Ndiponso limanena kuti “mkazi wokwatiwa amadera nkhawa zinthu za dziko, mmene angakondweretsere mwamuna wake.” (1 Akorinto 7:33, 34) N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti nthawi zina ngakhale mwamuna kapena mkazi amene si wodzikonda, sazindikira nkhawa za mnzake kapena kuyamikira kudzipereka kwa mnzakeyo. Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake sayamikirana, “nsautso m’thupi” imene ukwati umabweretsa imawonjezereka.​—1 Akorinto 7:28.

Kuti ukwati wanu upulumuke nthawi ya mavuto ndiponso kuti muzisangalala pamene zinthu zikuyenda bwino, mufunika kuona ukwati wanu kuti ndi mgwirizano wa moyo wanu wonse. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi, ndipo mungamulimbikitse bwanji mnzanu kuti akhalebe wokhulupirika kwa inu?

Chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kudzichepetsa ndiponso kutsatira malangizo a m’Mawu a Mulungu, Baibulo. Mukamachita zimenezi, inuyo ndi mnzanuyo ‘mudzapindula.’ (Yesaya 48:17) Onani zinthu ziwiri zothandiza zimene mungachite.

1. Muziona ukwati wanu kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri.

Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Mutsimikizire kuti zinthu zofunika kwambiri ndi ziti.” (Afilipi 1:10) Mmene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amachitira zinthu muukwati wawo ndi nkhani yaikulu kwa Mulungu. Mwamuna  amene amalemekeza mkazi wake amalemekezedwanso ndi Mulungu. Ndipo mkazi amene amalemekeza mwamuna wake amakhala “wamtengo wapatali m’maso mwa Mulungu.”​—1 Petulo 3:1-4, 7.

Kodi inuyo mumaona ukwati wanu kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri? Nthawi zambiri chinthu chikakhala chofunika kwambiri, umatheraponso nthawi. Ndiye dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi mwezi wathawu ndinapatula nthawi yochuluka bwanji kuti ndicheze ndi mnzanga? Kodi ndachita zinthu zotani kuti ndimutsimikizire mnzangayu kuti tidakali mabwenzi apamtima?’ Ngati munapatula nthawi yochepa yocheza ndi kusamalira mnzanu, mwinanso osapatula n’komwe, mnzanuyo zingamuvute kukhulupirira kuti ndinu wokhulupirika m’banjamo.

Kodi mnzanuyo amaona kuti ndinu wokhulupirika muukwati wanu? Kodi mungadziwe bwanji zimenezo?

2. Pewani kusakhulupirika kwamtundu uliwonse.

Yesu Khristu anati: “Aliyense woyang’anitsitsa mkazi mpaka kumulakalaka wachita naye kale chigololo mu mtima mwake.” (Mateyo 5:28) Munthu akagona ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wina amene sali naye pabanja, amasokoneza ukwati ndipo Baibulo limanena kuti zimenezi zingathetse ukwatiwo. (Mateyo 5:32) Komanso mawu a Yesu amene ali pamwambawa akusonyeza kuti chilakolako choipa chingakhale mumtima wa munthu nthawi yaitali munthuyo asanachite chigololo. Kulekerera maganizo oipawa ndi kusakhulupirika.

Kuti mukhalebe okhulupirika muukwati wanu, muyenera kutsimikiza mumtima mwanu kuti zivute zitani, simudzaonera zolaula. Kaya anthu anene zotani, zinthu zolaula zimawononga ukwati. Tamverani zimene mkazi wina ananena pofotokoza chizolowezi cha mwamuna wake choonera zolaula. Iye anati: “Mwamuna wanga amanena kuti kuonera zolaula kumawonjezera chikondi chathu. Koma ine zimandipangitsa kudziona ngati ndine wopanda ntchito, ndiponso ndimaona kuti sakhutira  nane. Iye akamaonera zolaula, ndimakhala ndikulira mpaka tulo kundigwira.” Kodi munganene kuti mwamuna ameneyu akuyesetsa kukhala wokhulupirika muukwati wawo, kapena akuuwononga? Kodi mukuganiza kuti iye akuthandiza mkazi wake kukhala wokhulupirika muukwati wawo? Kodi iye amaona kuti mkazi wake ndi bwenzi lake lapamtima?

Munthu wokhulupirika Yobu, anasonyeza kukhulupirika kwake muukwati ndiponso kwa Mulungu mwa ‘kupangana ndi maso ake.’ Iye sanafune ‘kuyang’anitsitsa namwali’ ngakhale pang’ono. (Yobu 31:1) Kodi mungamutsanzire bwanji Yobu?

Kuwonjezera pa kupewa zolaula, muyenera kuteteza mtima wanu kuti musayambe kukondana kwambiri ndi munthu amene simuli naye pabanja. Kunena zoona, anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi akamakopana, sizingawononge ukwati. Koma Mawu a Mulungu amatichenjeza kuti: “Mtima ndiwo wonyenga koposa, ndi wosachiritsika, ndani angathe kuudziwa?” (Yeremiya 17:9) Kodi inuyo mtima wanu wakunyengani? Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimachita chidwi kwambiri ndi ndani, mkazi wanga kapena akazi ena? Kodi ndikamva nkhani yosangalatsa, ndimayambirira kuuza ndani, mkazi wanga kapena akazi ena? Ngati mkazi wanga wandipempha kuti ndichepetse kucheza ndi akazi ena, kodi ndingatani? Kodi ndingakwiye kapena ndingasangalale n’kusintha?’

Michael ndi Maria, amene tawatchula poyamba paja, anagwirizana zokapempha thandizo kuti athetse mavuto awo. Kupempha thandizo ndi chiyambi chabe. Koma mwa kuzindikira mavuto awo ndi kuyesetsa kupempha thandizo, Michael ndi Maria anasonyeza kuti ndi okhulupirika muukwati wawo, ndipo ndi okonzeka kuyesetsa kuti ukwati wawo uziyenda bwino.

Kaya ukwati wanu ndi wolimba kapena uli ndi mavuto, mnzanuyo amafunika kudziwa kuti ndinu wokhulupirika ndipo mukuyesetsa kuti ukwati wanu uyende bwino. Chitani zinthu zonse zofunika kuti mum’tsimikizire mnzanuyo kuti ndinu wokhulupirikabe. Kodi ndinu okonzeka kutero?