IBHAYIBHILE iyawavumela amaqabane amsulwa ukuba awuqhawule umtshato okanye angawuqhawuli. * (Mateyu 19:9) UThembile, ocatshulwe ngasentla wagqiba ekubeni angawuqhawuli umtshato. Bagqiba ekubeni bawuhlangule umtshato wabo. Noko ke, ngokukhawuleza bafumanisa ukuba, oku kwakuthetha okungakumbi kunokuba baqhubeke nje behlala kunye. Ngoba? Njengoko sele kubonisiwe kumazwi abawathethe ngasentla, ukukrexeza kukaLiziwe kwenza kwanzima ukuba athenjwe. Ekubeni kufuneka bathembane abantu ukuze bonwabe emtshatweni, kwafuneka basebenze nzima ukuze baphinde bathembane.

Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nizama ukuhlangula umtshato wenu emva kokrexezo, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo niza kunyuka umnqantsa. Iinyanga eziliqela zokuqala emva kokuba kuvele loo ngxaki zinokuba lucelomngeni lokwenene. Kodwa ninako ukuphumelela! Ninokukwakha njani ukuthembana kwakhona? Ubulumko obufumaneka eBhayibhileni bunokuba luncedo. Khawucinge ngala macebiso mane alandelayo.

Umpostile uPawulos wabhala wathi: “Ekubeni nikulahlile ukuxoka, ngamnye kuni makathethe inyaniso nommelwane wakhe.” (Efese 4:25) Ubuxoki, inyaniso engxengiweyo nokungazichazi izinto zenza kungabikho ukuthembana. Kufuneka nithethe phandle nangokunyaniseka.

 Ekuqaleni, ngenxa yokukhathazeka wena neqabane lakho nisenokungakwazi ukuthetha ngale ngxaki. Kodwa ke, ekugqibeleni kuza kufuneka nithethile ngayo. Nisenokugqiba ekubeni ningathethi ngayo yonke into eyenzekileyo, kodwa akubobulumko ukuwubetha ngoyaba. ULiziwe ocatshulwe ngasentla uthi: “Ekuqaleni, kwakunzima yaye kulumeza ukuthetha ngale nyewe. Ndandibuhlungu gqitha ndifuna ukuyiphosa kwelokulibala lento yenzekileyo.” Noko ke, ukungathethi ngayo kwabangela ezinye iingxaki. Ngoba? UThembile uthi: “Ekubeni uLiziwe wayengafuni ukuthetha, ndandisoloko ndimkrokrela.” ULiziwe uyavuma ukuba, “Ukungathethi ngalo mbandela nomyeni wam kwenza kwanzima ukuchacha.”

Akuthandabuzeki ukuba, ukuthetha ngalo mbandela kuya kuba buhlungu. UNokuzola, onomyeni wakhe uZama, owakrexeza nomabhalanekazi wakhe, uthi: “Ndandinothotho lwemibuzo. Uyenza njani into enje? Uyenzeleni? Babethetha ngantoni? Ndandisoloko ndisonganyelwa ziimvakalelo, ndicinga ngayo rhoqo yaye ndineminye imibuzo engakumbi njengoko zaziqengqeleka iiveki.” UZama uthi: “Kuyaqondakala ukuba maxa wambi sasiye sixambulisane noNokuzola. Kodwa kamva sasiye sixolelane. Ezo ngxoxo zinyanisekileyo zazisenza sisondelelane.”

Ungenza njani ukuze uqiniseke ukuba ezo ngxubusho aziniqobi? Khumbula ukuba injongo yakho asikokohlwaya iqabane lakho, kodwa kukufunda kule ntlekele nokomeleza umtshato wenu. Ngokomzekelo, uMbulelo nomfazi wakhe uBukelwa, bazama ukuqonda isizathu esiye sabangela ukuba uMbulelo angathembeki. UMbulelo uthi: “Ndaye ndafumanisa ukuba bendixakeke zezinye izinto. Kwakhona ndandikuxhalabele ngokugqithiseleyo ukwanelisa abanye. Ndandichitha ixesha elininzi nabo. Loo nto yabangela ukuba ndichithe ixesha elincinane nomfazi wam.” Ukuqonda ezi zinto kwabanceda benza utshintsho, yaye ekuhambeni kwexesha lwabanceda bomeleza umtshato wabo.

IBhayibhile ithi: “Ababini balunge ngakumbi kunomnye.” Ngoba? “Ngenxa yokuba banomvuzo ngomsebenzi wabo onzima. Ngokuba xa omnye wabo esiwa, omnye unokuliphakamisa iqabane lakhe.” (INtshumayeli 4:9, 10) Lo mgaqo uyinyaniso ngokukodwa ukuba uwa uvuka uzama ukwakha intembelo kwakhona.

Xa ninobabini, ninokukwazi ukulwa ukungathembani okuye kwachaphazela umtshato wenu. Noko ke, nifanele nizinikele nobabini ekuwuhlanguleni umtshato wenu. Ukuba uzama ukumelana nale meko uwedwa, usenokuzibeka esichengeni sokugaxeleka kwezinye iingxaki. Kufuneka ngamnye amjonge omnye njengomncedi.

Koko kanye okwafunyaniswa nguThembile noLiziwe. ULiziwe uthi: “Oku kwathatha ixesha, kodwa sisobabini noThembile, sasebenza kunye ukwakha umanyano olomeleleyo. Ndazimisela ukuba ndingaphindi ndimvise intlungu enjalo. Nangona uThembile wayekhathazekile,wagqiba ekubeni angawuyeki umtshato wethu uqhawuke. Suku ngalunye, ndikhangela iindlela zokumqinisekisa ngokunyaniseka kwam kuye, yaye naye uqhubeka ebonisa ukuba uyandithanda. Ngenxa yoko, ndiya kuhlala ndinombulelo kuye.”

Emva kokulumkisa abaphulaphuli bakhe nxamnye nokukrexeza, uYesu wathi: “Ukuba, ke, iliso lakho lasekunene liyakukhubekisa, linyothule ulilahle kude.” (Mateyu  5:27-29) Ukuba nguwe oye akathembeka, awunakukhe ucinge ngezenzo nesimo sengqondo ekufuneka uziqhize?

Ayithandabuzeki yona, into yokuba kufuneka uluqhawule lonke ulwalamano nala mntu oye wakrexeza naye. * (IMizekeliso 6:32; 1 Korinte 15:33) UZama obekhankanywe ekuqaleni, watshintsha amaxesha omsebenzi wakhe neselfowuni yakhe ukuze ayeke ukunxibelelana nelo bhinqa. Noko ke, lo migudu ayizange iluphelise lonke unxibelelwano. UZama wayezimisele ukwakha ukuthembana ngokutsha nenkosikazi yakhe kangangokuba wade wayeka nomsebenzi wakhe. Wayilahla iselfowuni yakhe waza wasebenzisa eyenkosikazi. Ngaba le meko yayiwufanele lo mgudu? Umfazi wakhe uNokuzola uthi: “Sele kudlule iminyaka emithandathu, yaye maxa wambi ndiye ndibe nexhala lokuba usenokuzama ukunxibelelana nela bhinqa. Kodwa ndiyamthemba ngoku ukuba akanakunikezela kwisilingo.”

Ukuba uliqabane elinetyala, kusenokufuneka utshintshe neempawu ezithile zobuntu bakho. Ngokomzekelo, usenokuba ubukuthanda ukufumana ingqalelo yabantu besini esahlukileyo, okanye ingqondo yakho ibidla ngokubhadula icinge ngokuthandana nabanye abantu. Ukuba kunjalo, ‘buhlube ubuntu obudala kunye noqheliselo lwabo.’ Imikhwa emibi nemidala yithabathelis’ indawo ngemikhwa emitsha eyakwenza likuthembe ngakumbi iqabane lakho. (Kolose 3:9, 10) Ngaba indlela okhuliswe ngayo yenza kubenzima ukubonisa uthando? Nangona kusenokubanzima ekuqaleni, lichazele ukuba uyalithanda uze uliqinisekise. UThembile ukhumbula ukuba: “ULiziwe wayedla ngokubonisa ukuba uyandithanda ngokundibamba ngesandla, aze athi ‘uyandithanda.’”

Kangangexesha elithile, kungabakuhle ukuba uchaze zonke izinto ozenzayo yonke imihla. UMbulelo obekhankanywe ngaphambili, uthi: “UBukelwa wayeqinisekisa ukuba uchaza yonke into suku ngalunye, kwanezona zinto zingabalulekanga, kuba ezama ukundibonisa ukuba akafihli nto.”

Musa ukukhawuleza ucinge ukuba nifanele niphile njengesiqhelo. IMizekeliso 21:5 ilumkisa isithi: “Wonk’ ubani ongxamayo ngokuqinisekileyo usingisa ekusweleni.” Kuya kuthatha ixesha—mhlawumbi iminyaka—ngaphambi kokuba nithembane kwakhona.

Ukuba uliqabane elingcatshiweyo, ziphe ixesha lokuxolela ngokupheleleyo. UBukelwa ukhumbula oku: “Ndandicinga ukuba akufanelekanga ukuba umfazi angamxoleli umyeni wakhe oye akathembeka. Ndandingasiqondi isizathu sokuba aqumbele ixesha elide kangako. Noko ke, xa umyeni wam waye akathembekanga, ndasiqonda isizathu sokuba kube nzima ukumxolela.” Ukumxolela—nokumthemba umntu—kuya kuthabatha ixesha.

Noko ke, INtshumayeli 3:1-3, ithi likho “nexesha lokuphilisa.” Ekuqaleni, usenokuvakalelwa kukuba ukungathethi neqabane lakho ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo yeyona ndlela ifanelekileyo. Noko ke, ukwenza ngolo hlobo akuyi kukunceda uphinde wakhe intembelo ebelinayo iqabane lakho kuwe. Ukuze ulungise umonakalo, lixolele uze lichazele indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngalo. Kwakhona likhuthaze ukuba likuchazele xa kukho into elonwabisayo okanye xa likhathazekile.

Musa ukuba nenqala. (Efese 4:32) Kunokuba luncedo ukucamngca ngomzekelo kaThixo. Waba buhlungu gqitha esa kushiywa ngabanquli bakhe boSirayeli wamandulo. Kangangokuba uYehova uThixo wade wazifanisa neqabane lomtshato elingcatshiweyo. (Yeremiya 3:8, 9; 9:2) Kodwa akazange ‘ahlale ecaphukile ukusa  kwixesha elingenammiselo.’ (Yeremiya 3:12) Bathi besakubuyela kuye abantu beguquke ngokunyanisekileyo, wabaxolela.

Ekugqibeleni, xa nobabini nanelisekile ziinguqu eniye nazenza emtshatweni wenu, niya kuziva ninqabisekile. Emva koko, kunokuba nisoloko ninikel’ ingqalelo ekuhlanguleni umtshato wenu, ninokunikela ingqalelo kwezinye izinto. Nasemva koko, kufuneka nimane niyihlola inkqubela yenu. Musani ukuyekelela umxakatho. Zilungiseni izinto ezimana ukunibuyisela umva nize niqinisekisane ukuba nisathandana.—Galati 6:9.

Ukuba maxa wambi nikhe ningaqiniseki ngempumelelo, khumbulani oku: uThixo nguMsunguli womtshato. (Mateyu 19:4-6) Ngoko ke, unokuninceda niphumelele emtshatweni wenu. Zonke izibini ezikhankanywe ngasentla zasebenzisa isiluleko sobulumko seBhayibhile yaye zakwazi ukuyihlangula imitshato yazo.

Ngoku sele kudlule iminyaka engama-20 ukususela oko kwenzeka intlekele emtshatweni kaThembile noLiziwe. UThembile ushwankathela ngala mazwi indlela owancedakala ngayo umtshato wabo: “Kwakusemva kokuba siqalise ukufunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova apho senza inkqubela ebonakalayo. Safumana uncedo olungathethekiyo. Ngenxa yoko, sakwazi ukutyhubela kuloo manzithinzithi.” ULiziwe uthi: “Ndivakalelwa kukuba sasikeleleka kakhulu ngokukwazi ukunyamezela ngalo lonke elo xesha lobunzima. Ngenxa yokufunda iBhayibhile kunye, nokuwa sivuka, ngoku umtshato wethu uqhuba kakuhle.